Sunday, September 26, 2004
It isnt premarital sex
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting
married."
George Burns
married."
George Burns
Bigamy is having one wife too many
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde
You dont appreciate
" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get
older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged
woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips
older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged
woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips
Sex is one of the most wholesome
" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural
experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin
experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin
Its been so long
" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up
whom."
Joan Rivers
whom."
Joan Rivers
Theres very little advice
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men
think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
Jerry Seinfeld
think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
Jerry Seinfeld
Doctors are reporting
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men
are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause
severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman
Mrs. Robinson are you trying to seduce me?
are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause
severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman
Mrs. Robinson are you trying to seduce me?
According to a new survey women
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men
are just grateful."
Robert De Niro
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men
are just grateful."
Robert De Niro
Women need a reason to have sex
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal
Billy Crystal
divorce from the Latin word
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
Clinton lied. A man might forget
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had
a sense of humor)
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had
a sense of humor)
My mother never saw the irony
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson
Jack Nicholson
Golf is a sport for
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black
men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods
men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods
Women fake orgasms but
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole
relationship."
Sharon Stone
heh heh good Sharon you got us!
relationship."
Sharon Stone
heh heh good Sharon you got us!
Sex at age 90
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille Paglia
How would she know?
Camille Paglia
How would she know?
Mercedes-Benz 380SL
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual
arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-
Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner
arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-
Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner
Bisexuality immediately doubles
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday
night."
Rodney Dangerfield
night."
Rodney Dangerfield
Having sex like playing bridge
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen
partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen
