Monday, April 05, 2004
Honeymoon Night
A male and a female golfer who met on the course eventually got married. On their honeymoon night (at a golf resort, of course) they proceeded to consummate their marriage. After the first episode (which made the earth move) the man picked up the phone and started dialing.
His wife asked, "Who are you calling?"
He replied, "Room Service. I want some champagne."
She said, "Jack Nicklaus wouldn't do that. He would make love to me again!"
So, they embarked on another episode. The second time was even better. He picked up the phone after their sex and
She said, "You aren't calling Room Service are you? You know, Jack Nicklaus wouldn't do that -- he'd make love to me again." The man sighed a bit and proceeded to make love to his new wife again.
The third time took all of his energy. He struggled to pick up the phone and dial the number.
His new wife asked, "Are you calling Room Service, Honey?"
He shouted back, "Hell no! I'm calling Jack Nicklaus to see what the par on this damn hole is!"
His wife asked, "Who are you calling?"
He replied, "Room Service. I want some champagne."
She said, "Jack Nicklaus wouldn't do that. He would make love to me again!"
So, they embarked on another episode. The second time was even better. He picked up the phone after their sex and
She said, "You aren't calling Room Service are you? You know, Jack Nicklaus wouldn't do that -- he'd make love to me again." The man sighed a bit and proceeded to make love to his new wife again.
The third time took all of his energy. He struggled to pick up the phone and dial the number.
His new wife asked, "Are you calling Room Service, Honey?"
He shouted back, "Hell no! I'm calling Jack Nicklaus to see what the par on this damn hole is!"
TEEING OFF - quick, sand!
1. TEEING OFF - quick, sand!
2. Birdies and Bogeys - A Tiger by Any Other Name
3. QUOTE OF THE WEEK
TEEING OFF
quick, sand!
For some, this is the scariest place on the golf course.
Between the term "trap," and what can actually happen to
your ball there, it can be a little frightening. Sand
traps have the ability to intimidate even the most
skilled players every now and then. They vary in size,
depth, sand consistency, and difficulty. Typically found
near greens to gobble up errant approach shots, they're
sometimes found lining, or in the fairways where a per-
fect drive would land. Playing confident shots from the
sand will take time and practice.
------------------------------------------------------------
Birdies and Bogeys
A Tiger by Any Other Name
Names carry a power with them, which is why scary people
want scary names: "Bone Crusher" Smith, Tommy "Hit Man"
Herns, "Machine Gun" Kelly and Johnny "Knee Breaker"
Sarduchi. When you hear their names you know that if
you're not careful, you're done before you start against
these guys.
It's the same in golf. There's "The King," "The Bear,"
"The Shark" and, of course, "Tiger." Now I realize there
isn't much his opponents can do against him, but here's
a suggestion: Call him Eldrick (Tiger's real name), as
in, "Eldrick and I tee off at 11:30," or "Eldrick, I
believe you're away." It's not much of a strategy, but
nothing else worked this year.
------------------------------------------------------------
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"Grip it and rip it. It works for John Daly. It never
worked for me. All I did was wear out golf gloves."
Chuck Stark
2. Birdies and Bogeys - A Tiger by Any Other Name
3. QUOTE OF THE WEEK
TEEING OFF
quick, sand!
For some, this is the scariest place on the golf course.
Between the term "trap," and what can actually happen to
your ball there, it can be a little frightening. Sand
traps have the ability to intimidate even the most
skilled players every now and then. They vary in size,
depth, sand consistency, and difficulty. Typically found
near greens to gobble up errant approach shots, they're
sometimes found lining, or in the fairways where a per-
fect drive would land. Playing confident shots from the
sand will take time and practice.
------------------------------------------------------------
Birdies and Bogeys
A Tiger by Any Other Name
Names carry a power with them, which is why scary people
want scary names: "Bone Crusher" Smith, Tommy "Hit Man"
Herns, "Machine Gun" Kelly and Johnny "Knee Breaker"
Sarduchi. When you hear their names you know that if
you're not careful, you're done before you start against
these guys.
It's the same in golf. There's "The King," "The Bear,"
"The Shark" and, of course, "Tiger." Now I realize there
isn't much his opponents can do against him, but here's
a suggestion: Call him Eldrick (Tiger's real name), as
in, "Eldrick and I tee off at 11:30," or "Eldrick, I
believe you're away." It's not much of a strategy, but
nothing else worked this year.
------------------------------------------------------------
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"Grip it and rip it. It works for John Daly. It never
worked for me. All I did was wear out golf gloves."
Chuck Stark
